The poetry of Argos

In my day job, I’ve been writing some copy for British retail institution Argos, and have discovered the treasure trove of customer reviews on their website.

The enthusiasm of customers for what are often the simplest of items is pretty remarkable. The comments on these white pasta bowls, for example, are well worth a trawl. 

Jojo from Somerset tells perhaps the world’s shortest quest story:

‘I've been looking for bowls this size for years and these are perfect for me.’

Meanwhile, John from Merseyside celebrates the bowls’ most essential nature, recommending them if you ‘need a good-sized pasta bowl which is “bowl-shaped”’. 

Argos chair.jpeg

Reading one of the comments on the Power Massage Leather Recliner Chair, it struck me that one could add some line breaks and create a sort of poem – albeit a tongue-in-cheek one – from some of these comments. (Raymond Carver did it with Chekhov. I do it with Argos. I know my place.)

So here’s my first experiment in the form. See what you think.


Power Massage Leather Recliner Chair - Chocolate.  

My mother brought this chair
but used it only as normal chair
she recently passed away
so have taken to mine
for my disabled partner. 

On doing so I have found the plug
for massager is not there, 
after asking if I can purchase one
am told no as can't give me
contact details of manufacture
as they are overseas 

so perfect chair
as long as nothing goes wrong
for example needs
replacement lead

due to loss or damage
as the chair
will become
just that 

an armchair